Debra Bell
Wit and Wisdom
Epilogue: What Actually Happened This Year
Whew, another school year over - and the final year for my twin sons at that.
Because you've been asking, I thought I'd do a wrap up of the series I began the
year with. In that series, I told you what we were planning to do this year. Here's
what really happened:
The College Process
I'm starting here, because that's the monster that ruled at our house all year
long - and will continue to dominate our summer. Even though those who have
bravely gone before us told me to start this process early, I don't think there is
any way to avoid all the pressures, paper work and decision-making of that final
year. Mike and Gabe started looking at schools in their junior year, but they
really didn't get realistic about where they ought to go until this past fall (this
seems to be pretty typical for most kids). Then we had to squeeze
college visits in around football season and course work. Visiting schools is certainly more helpful
than just reading about them in all their PR material; but talking to kids, especially Christian kids, already enrolled ended up being an important part of their decision-making.
A huge part of their school day ended up being prep for the fall SATs and writing many drafts of many essays for college and scholarship applications. As I now say in my seminars, "The
money is for the articulate." A great book to help in this process is
How To Write A Winning College Application Essay by Michael James Mason.
This book has a much broader application and can be used for
any kind of reflective essay assignments, so it became a part of
their English credit. Even though Mike and Gabe grumbled
during the endless drafts of what seemed to be fruitless essays, in
the end they were able to recycle their essays a couple of times
with a few revisions. And when at the last minute they learned
they needed to submit a substantial writing portfolio to the
college they are attending, they had plenty of writing to pull
together quickly. (They aren't English majors, folks, the writing
portfolio is increasingly a requirement for all incoming
students.)
Just because kids are kids, neither one solidified his top choice
early. And then it was the same place for each. We had lengthy
discussions about should they or should they not go their
separate ways (they are identical twins), but Kermit and I were
grateful they've settled on the same place - just for logistical
purposes. However, we had missed the early application
deadlines and heard the Honors College at this school (which is
where they wanted to get in) was receiving a slew of
applications. Christmas vacation was one of the tensest parts of
our school year. They were both hurriedly writing essays and
rounding up recommendations from folks they'd already hit
upon numerous times before. Plus one of my sons was foolishly
dropping 20 pounds quickly for wrestling (for those who don't
know, Mike and Gabe were permitted to play sports through our
public school district.) He didn't eat a bite at Christmas dinner.
We all sat miserably with our extended family while he moaned
and groaned in the other room. When we returned home from
the holiday, my other son found one of our cats had used his
almost complete application as a litter box! Only by the
restraining grace of God did that cat live to see another day.
It wasn't until April that Mike and Gabe knew for sure that they
had been accepted into their top choice. And it wasn't until the
end of the month that they knew that they could afford it. So
where are they going?
They are enrolled in the Honors College at the state school my
husband and I both graduated from. The price tag is far less
than any place else they might have gone and still left home.
And the educational opportunities they have access to I think are
impressive. They will be able to study abroad; they can attend
programs at other, more expensive universities at the state
school's price; they can set up their own unique learning
experiences and likely receive funding for those. Only 100
students are accepted into this program each year, and the
benefactor is quite generous in underwriting a very unique
curriculum for these kids. While we do realize it is not a
Christian worldview, Mike and Gabe will be studying a classical
liberal arts core curriculum.
They have quite a few solid Christian friends already at this
college, and they will be active members of my home church -
one I was a part of founding a few decades ago. The church has
an "adopt a student" program that provides accountability and
an occasional home-cooked meal for the kids, as well as a very
active campus ministry. If asked, they will tell you sensing a
calling to this particular church was the key factor in choosing
this college. And that was a priority for their dad and I. We
really want our sons to continue to value highly the regular
preaching of sound doctrine and the investment of older, mature
Christians (not merely peers) into their lives. At the same time,
we recognize their passion for sharing the gospel with their
generation. We believe this is a God-given passion and we trust
God-directed in their college choice.
In His Sovereign Grace,
Debra
The Year's End and God's Blessings
Last week, I gave you the realities of our
college search for Mike and Gabe, our
first two children, and details about our
decision for them to graduate from
home schooling. (I really feel like a
"veteran" now.) This week, I want to
take the time to acknowledge some of
the many, many wonderful provisions of
God in our lives this past year.
On one level, a very narrow and
temporal level, home schooling is all
about rolling up your sleeves and gutting
out the job before us. It takes work. It's
not always invigorating. It's not always
limitless; it's limiting. Some days are
down right ugly. We get up late; no one
is walking in the Spirit; the texts are
boring; the washer overflows; you never
actually get to your third child's lessons.
The problem occurs when we let those
days overtake our entire perspective of
home schooling. When that's where we
focus all our energies, we spend the
summer dreading the ever-encroaching
fall!
This time of year it's helpful to step back, lift our eyes upward,
and recount what God has truly provided for us in the past few
months. I guarantee you He has been providing daily, and when
we regain that upward perspective, we should feel our hearts
overflowing with gratitude. Here are some of the ways in which
we've been blessed specifically by the Lord this year.
First, He has captured the hearts of our four children, and they
each have increased in the evidences of His grace in their lives.
Not all of our kids have always been following hard after Him
(nor have I, for that matter). I've had my share of moments
where fear overran me. I wondered if one or the other was
heading down a path of rebellion and rejection of our faith and
God. But He orchestrated pivotal moments for each of them,
and their hearts were turned.
I am rejoicing especially in where our sons are today. I tell folks
at our seminars, at age14 we couldn't let them out of the house!
Now at 18, I can trust them to travel and speak with me - and
folks increasingly prefer to hear what they have to say. The most
prevalent titles on their reading list for this year are books on
theology or discipleship. A consuming passion in their lives is the
evangelism of their generation. Most conversations turn in these
directions. So, take heart those of you concerned for the spiritual
state of your children. While we parents have the greatest
opportunity and responsibility to create a home where our
children see their need of a Savior lived out before them, we are
powerless to change their hearts. That is the work of the Spirit of
God. We can be confident that the Father is ever intent upon this
objective in their lives.
Second, He provided rich and rewarding friendships for each of
my kids and me. These friendships have enriched our home-
schooling life. Throughout the years, close friends have moved,
gone to school, or changed churches, and these have been
moments of loneliness and sorrow for us.
Sometimes, I wondered if I would be the last home schooler
standing. Would my kids be resentful that we hadn't allowed
them to follow their friends into public or private schools? I don't
believe that home schooling is the only acceptable option for the
believer-I never have; but I've always been certain this was the
only permissible option for my husband and me. I've sure asked
for clarification several times. "Lord, are you sure I can't send
them to school? I could serve in the church more; I could
volunteer at this ministry. Would you just clarify that point one
more time." Nope, it's always been a certainty for us. And that
has meant some disappointing moments for each of our kids.
A few years ago, Kristen's best friend moved to Ohio. I was as
sorrowful as Kristen. This family was such a blessing to our
church, our home school co-op, each of our children, and me.
They encouraged everyone in the Lord. Kristen, especially, was
at that pivotal junior high stage where kids often grow
lukewarm in their faith. Last year, the father's job moved this
family back into the area. If that had been the only thing God
did for us this past year, it would have been enough. We are all
so grateful to have these close friends back.
Truly, we can all expect these rich relationships in our home
schooling adventure. There are plenty of us around now, and
each of us should be able to find a place to plug in and be
refreshed by kindred spirits. Even if you are living abroad or
remotely, the Internet is a wonderful thing (for the most part).
My daughter Kayte had an online course this year, and even in
this context, she was able to connect with many of the kids and
build relationships. Thank God for your fellow travelers and the
word timely spoken that has kept us each going this past year.
The third moment that jumps so vividly to mind is my sons'
graduation. This was the sixth one we have held for the seniors
at CHESS family school, a home school co-op where I teach
high school English. I've gone to them all because they are such
an encouragement - to keep going and to keep believing it is
going to be worthwhile in the end. I can't write about the
experience of having my sons graduate from home schooling
without choking up. Pride goes before the fall. While I was
loudly asserting that I was not going to cry, I was sobbing when
the first graduate came down the aisle, a young lady I've known
for many years. By the time my sons entered and each handed
me a rose, it was pretty embarrassing. They felt quite victorious
over my public collapse. What a perfect ceremony (my
humiliation and all).
All of the 16 graduates had letters they had written. Each was
publicly read by the masters of ceremony prior to the graduate
receiving a diploma from his father and blubbering hugs from
his mom. I wish we could telecast the contents of those letters -
and I'm sure thousands of other home school graduates across
the nation would echo the sentiments expressed in ours. None of
these kids extolled their parents for doing an exceptional job in
math or English, or preparing them well academically; even
though all 16 kids were going on to their top choice after high
school, whether Bible school, ministry, community college, or
four-year university. What each of these kids publicly thanked
their parents for was a Christian home, the grace of God so
evidently displayed daily, and the love their parents
demonstrated for each other and their children. These kids were
grateful for the spiritual heritage that had been given. If there
had been pretty rough moments in any given subject, they
turned those into humorous anecdotes. But aren't those
academic flub-ups what we moms focus on? Yet we so often
forget the spiritual gifts we are passing on to our kids.
If it's not too late, attend a home school graduation in your area
- it will certainly restore your vision for what you are doing.
In His Sovereign Grace,
Debra
Next time: I'll wrap up with the practicalities of what happened
with my daughters. Surprisingly, despite the senior hoopla, they
did manage to get an education, too.
Debra Bell
Wit and Wisdom
Year in Review: The Girls
Dear readers,
I'm sure many of you have wondered,
after reading all that the senior year of
home schooling entailed for our sons,
whether we just totally ignored our other
two children. Don't for a minute feel
sorry for my girls. Here's Part 1 of what
came to pass in their lives this year.
As I write, my oldest daughter, Kayte
(16), is just finishing her school year.
Guess where she is? France! Why?
Because we are very affluent, and
sending our children to Europe is just a
way of life? Ha! We're home schoolers,
remember? No, Kayte's two-week visit in
Paris is just the latest example of the
marvelous opportunities God has created
for us in our home-school adventure.
And while I never want to lose my
profound gratefulness for His generosity
to our family, I've come to expect
unexpected delights as a way of life. We
serve a wonderful Father who gives
many good gifts to His children. And this
trip to France was a heart's desire for Kayte, which her heavenly
Father simply dropped into her lap. Here's a bit of background.
First, you should know that Kayte is a kid who asks for very
little. So, when we know she'd really like something, we seriously
evaluate whether there is a means for bringing it to pass. Well,
her desire to go to France while in high school was one thing her
dad said would have to wait -- for college, along with some
serious scholarship money to fund it.
When Kayte was in fifth grade, a mom at our co-op offered a
quilting class. (Stay with me here, folks, this is going
somewhere.) Had it not been for the marvelous synergy that
comes from home schoolers pooling our strengths for our
mutual benefit, Kayte's love for quilting would have remained
undiscovered -- because her mother has none. This quilting
mom recognized Kayte's interest and invited her to attend her
quilt guild, where Kayte has now been a very active member for
six years. I could fill an article with all the opportunities this
guild of ladies has afforded Kayte. But here is the one germane
to our discussion. One of the quilters is also a director for a
foreign exchange program, and last summer, about this time,
called us to see if we would take a last-minute sign-up - a
French girl coming to the United States for a three-week stay.
With our hectic summer schedule, my first instinct was to say
no. But our dear daughter, who hardly ever asks for anything,
asked whether we please would consider saying yes.
"This could be God, Mom," I recall her insisting. So with a great
deal of trepidation, we agreed. Well, as you might deduce, that
turned out to be a very sovereign opportunity. We all fell in love
with Clémence and cried when she returned to France. But,
before leaving, she invited Kayte to visit her in return.
We held that invitation loosely until Kayte again received a
formal invitation from Clémence's family during the school
year. In preparation, Kayte went back to a serious study of
French. She had taken three years of French in the sixth through
eighth grades at our co-op. Then we lost our teacher, so she took
Latin -- her only choice for a language, but not at all one of her
passions. That stint with Latin actually helped Kayte realize how
much she did love French. So she has become quite intentional
in her studies. In fact, she completed all of the French In Action
program this year, literally equivalent to four years of high
school French. We rented the video lessons for this program
from PA Homeschoolers (www.pahomeschoolers.com), and we
purchased the text, audiotapes and student workbooks from the
producer, CPB/Annenberg (learner.org). You may have seen
this course broadcast through your local PBS affiliate. It is a
highly respected program, though Clémence and our other
subsequent French students found it very dated and very silly.
Did you catch the line about "other subsequent French
students"? Yes, one thing led to another, and this past April, I
actually served as a field director, recruited by Kayte's friend at
the quilt guild. Our home-school co-op hosted 12 students from
Paris during their Easter break. Now, everyone wants to study
French and, of course, have more French students in the future.
Our foreign language program is really booming here, folks.
These kids have a real reason for learning a language -- and the
Internet has made it so easy to stay in touch and continue the
cross-cultural opportunity. (CPB/Annenberg carries a Spanish
course as well. We're going to expand in that direction next.)
Now to bring you up to date, two weeks ago, Kayte and her best
friend, Bethany (Clémence's family generously invited Beth, too,
so Kayte would not have to fly alone -- her dad's biggest hurdle),
flew to Paris with great tickets purchased through our friends at
Golden Rule Travel (www.goldrule.net). And according to
Kayte's last phone call, she and Beth have now invited most of
Paris to visit -- they met up with some of our exchange students
from the past year, and made many new friends. They've had
the benefit of total immersion in French culture because of the
unique opportunity of staying with a family; plus, they've seen
every museum and noteworthy site: the Louvre, Notre Dame,
the Latin Quarter, Versailles, the Eiffel Tower - often at no
charge, as teens are admitted free.
How will we top this? Well, four days after her return, Kayte will
head out the door for a 10-day trip to Mexico, where she again
will be able to stay with a family and be completely immersed in
the culture. Again, this is a very inexpensive opportunity that
God has provided for her (and a safe one -- she's visiting a sister
church of ours). She also completed an introductory Spanish
course in preparation and is anticipating continuing her studies
this coming school year. And, she's been accepted as an
intermediate French student at a local college (at the 50 percent
tuition reduction they offer to home schoolers).
Who said the home-school life isn't sweet? These are the kinds of
experiences I longed for my children to have when we started
down this road more than a decade ago. They were not that
difficult to make happen - and they've all been surprisingly
affordable. That's because I've come to expect the generous
provision from our Father's hand as a way of life.
In His Sovereign Grace,
Debra
Year
In Review: The Girls, Part II
Finally,
I’ll conclude this series with a re-cap of what Kristen, my 7th
grader, accomplished. Junior high is a transitional time from the carefree days of
elementary – lots of hands-on, lots of field trips, lots of children’s
literature – to the more structured, intensive days of high school.
As Kristen is my last to make this transition, I wanted to get it
right this time.
First,
back in the fall I talked about our struggles with math.
Kristen just wasn’t giving this subject enough time.
Math, I’ve learned, really demands consistency, and I’d
mistakenly loaded our days with too many interruptions.
However, I never get too concerned about these adjustments. My experience is that kids can quickly correct an area of
weakness if we just give devoted attention to it.
You don’t need two years to make up lost time, often 3-6 months
is sufficient. And that was
true in this case. After
wasting even more time by trying to find the illusive perfect math
curriculum to make Kris and I love math,
I came back to that old standby – Saxon.
And I now have renewed appreciation for the simple elegance of this
system. It was just what Kristen needed.
The clear direct presentation of the material and the repetition of
prior skills all added up to Kristen quickly improving her basic
arithmetic skills and being on grade level.
My
three other kids all completed algebra before entering high school.
However, this wasn’t such a wonderful plan.
They all ended up moving into calculus to earn enough math credits
then for graduation (we’re in a homeschool diploma program with
requirements). As my kids aren’t really headed into anything such as
engineering, they weren’t particularly happy about having to complete
advanced math at home. It
would have been much better just to leave that material for college. So I’ve learned my lesson with Kristen. This year she will be in 8th grade. My plan is to
continue with basic arithmetic at least for the first half of the year.
I know these are skills she will need in adult life no matter what
she does. And then perhaps
we’ll do a pre-algebra program second semester if we choose.
My goals for her in high school are really just algebra I, II and
geometry. Because, it’s
also clear she’s not going to be headed into the math and sciences after
high school either.
In
her other subject areas, we were intent upon laying a foundation for
higher level work in high school. For example, in science she completed a
life science course. We used
“Life Science: Creatures Great and Small” from Royal Fireworks Press.
It’s not the most attractive text, but it laid a foundation for high
school level biology very well.
And that’s our goal. To
introduce vocabulary and the big picture concepts so we have a framework
and familiarity in place for the detailed, indepth study of high school.
This year, we are going to take a similar approach with American
history (she’s already complete a good deal of world history).
The
main focus of junior high is developing independent study skills.
And I do have quite a sense of accomplishment with Kristen in this
area (as the fourth child it’s great to feel like I finally know the
best thing to be doing with our time.)
Kristen learned how to keep a study notebook very well, how to
organize her bookshelf and desk; how to make study guides to prepare for
tests; how to get information safely off the Internet and properly
document it then in her compositions.
She wrote a 6 page research paper on the Buffalo Soldiers; she
completed her first science fair project (with her sister Kayte) using the
scientific method; she wrote weekly in a journal; she challenged herself
to read more difficult books; she became comfortable making a contribution
to group discussions; and she learned how to ask questions and ask for
help when needed. All these
are critical skills for independent learning.
This
summer, I’m pleased to observe her making better use of her time than
she has in the past; plus she has a job as a mother’s helper several
days a week to a young mom in our church. This, more than anything, is producing maturity and
responsibleness in Kristen. When
I saw she was already documenting her summer reading in her school log
without my knowledge or prompting, I knew the upcoming school year was
already off to a great start.
In His Sovereign Grace,
Debra
