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Part I    Part II    Part III    Part IV

It is hard to believe that I am already wrapping up home education with two of my four children. I’d be more sentimental about this if it weren’t for all the decision-making associated with the senior year. My forerunners had warned me that it is never too early to start working on post-graduation plans, but like most folks we just don’t tackle things on our “To Do” List until the pressure mounts.

Taking stock
First of all, I took stock this summer of all that Mike and Gabe have been able to experience and study in their years of homeschooling. And even though, in the midst of homeschooling, it often feels as though we aren’t doing half of what we ought, in retrospect I marveled at all that God has graciously provided for them over the years. Here are just a few things I’m grateful for: The great friendships Mike and Gabe have found in homeschooling. God has provided peers who love the Lord, love and enjoy their families, and love to learn. Mike and Gabe’s friendships exist on a much deeper level than most teens their age, and I fully expect these friendships to continue, even though some friends are already at college, and a couple are even married. Until my sons could drive, it took a real time commitment to get them together with peers whose families share the same values. But I see now how worthwhile that sacrifice was.

Secondly, Mike and Gabe have had great, albeit uncredentialed, teachers. We have co-opted with other homeschoolers since my guys were 5. During the early years, it was as simple as getting together with one other family once a week to do unit study. As my kids got older, our co-ops became larger and more developed. In our network of homeschool moms, we’ve had women with talents in math, science, art, music, drama, computers, and more. And because we were all counting on one another to do the best we could for each others’ children, the commitment and energy these women brought to their classes far exceeded anything I ever saw as a professional teacher.

You know the consistent comment I hear from our homeschool graduates now at college, even the best colleges? They are surprised at how “easy” college is, and how unprepared their classmates from more traditional backgrounds are for academic demands. Take comfort, moms.

As is my practice, I asked Mike and Gabe this summer what they wanted most to do this year. No. 1, they wanted to enjoy the year, i.e. not be overwhelmed academically as they have on occasion in the past. No. 2, they wanted to grow in their faith. We looked at what was left to round out their transcript, as they are both planning on college next year. And they knew they had to present their homeschool experience in understandable terms.

Here’s what they are doing:
1) Pre-calculus using Chicago Math published by Scott Foresman (www.phschool.com). Last year they completed the Chalk Dust video course for trigonometry (www.chalkdust.com). Compared to many high school trig courses, we discovered later, this was more typical of college-level trig. It has a lot of pre-calculus in it. We decided to leave calculus for college, and to essentially review what was studied last year with a text that could honestly be recorded as a pre-calculus credit.

2) Church history: A huge hole in their academic life has been world history – we did American history a lot. (I’ve been wiser with my daughters who have both already completed a survey of American and world history). I proposed a church history course as a vehicle for getting an overview of world history with a focus on something they were more interested in. I also offered to teach this course in our home to a group of their friends. This gave them a legitimate excuse to get together as all these kids have outgrown our co-ops and most are interning this year and taking college credits at local schools. We are using Church History in Plain Language by Bruce Shelley and materials available from the Christian History Institute (www.gospelcom.net/chi). We will also use What in the World is Going On Here? an audiotape series from Diana Waring’s History Alive (www.dianawaring.com). I plan to tell you more about Diana’s excellent material in a subsequent article.

3) Internships: Both Mike and Gabe plan at this date to major in marketing and communications, so we’ve been looking for a way for them to gain experience in business as well as continue to earn money for college during the school year. Right now they are both interning at our family business, the Home School Resource Center (www.debrabell.com). They are supervised by our store manager (a former intern herself), and we will write up a formal evaluation of the various duties they learned to complete. They are both working on opportunities to intern at other businesses later this year as well. The main source of leads has been businessmen in our church. (In most cases, you have to go out and make the internship or apprenticeship happen. It won’t come to you.) The college reps we’ve talked to find the experiences Mike and Gabe have already had in business noteworthy.

4) English: Mike and Gabe are taking two half-credit journalism courses at our local public high school first semester. As shocking as that may be for some readers, it is an opportunity that we’ve received as a gift from God. The journalism teacher in our district produces an award-winning school newspaper and has been fêted nationally for her success. Mike and Gabe really enjoy the experience they are gaining through working on the school newspaper (they are the sports editors) and their broadcast journalism course. (As I write, they are filming a hilarious comparison between homeschool and public school life for the latter class.) And Mrs. Hill has made a significant contribution to their education.

5) Travel: Right now, we are all trying to wrap up the bulk of our academics by February, because we are planning to travel a lot as a family during the spring and summer. The opportunities in the hopper include international travel for Mike, Gabe and Kayte, and family travel associated with my speaking commitments. For one thing, we will all be going to Alaska for a week, and I’m busy building that opportunity into our program by studying Alaska during the year. In all, it looks like the Lord will once again provide a memorable and unique school year for all of us – especially Mike and Gabe.

Coming Up: The College Search: How Do You Decide?

In His Sovereign Grace,

Debra

Oh, the many hats of a homeschool parent. I run a fairly respectable cafeteria – at least we don’t have food fights. And now that I have two additional drivers for the bus runs, our transportation department has improved. No one has had to visit my principal’s office in quite a while. And though I chair the math department, I have some great video teachers under me. But here’s the one department where I’ve certainly felt out of my depth: guidance. And I have two seniors!

Choosing a college, choosing a career: these seem to be the only discussions at our house this year. It’s a lot of fun exploring all the options until it actually gets down to decision time. It was so much simpler when I was in their shoes.

My dad was the head of guidance at my high school and he just told me what to do: “Deb, you can go anywhere you like, as long as it’s a state school [ the less expensive route]. And you can choose any major you want, as long as you get a teaching degree. It’s a good job for a woman.” Now my dear old dad knows he couldn’t get away with that last comment today in a public place – but the truth is I did just what he said, and he was right. I only applied one place – his alma mater. And there isn’t another degree I think better suited for me.

I’ve already tried the same trick with Mike and Gabe. It didn’t work. They don’t want their mom making this call. So I pulled my dad aside, and prodded him into giving direction. Now, he’s mellowed with the years, so he isn’t telling them where to go and what to be; but he did firmly tell them they had to apply at least two places by the end of summer and that Mom and Dad would pay the application fees. My dad still has that way about him: you do what he says, so at least we have two applications with all the paper work submitted. And Kermit and I have paid our first college fees.

Tips From the Pros
If you don’t mind taking advice from someone in process, I thought we would take a few weeks here to talk about guiding our kids towards their future careers, gleaning from the wisdom of my dad, and the many homeschool friends I have who’ve already tread this path. Who knows maybe by the end of the series, I’ll know what my kids are doing next year. (It would be great to hear from those of you out there with experienced advice to share, too.)

My dear friend Cindy McKeown has mentored me through most of the seasons of my life ( she insists I tell you she’s barely older than me, she just got an earlier start on things.) Right now she has one son in medical school and two in college; so the road I’m currently plodding on is more familiar to her.

Her most comforting counsel: “Deb, I don’t think you’re going to handle this very well.” I like a challenge, so I’ve been making a serious effort at maintaining a stiff upper lip.

I haven’t lost it totally yet, as did another un-named dear friend in the same shoes as me. Her daughter came to her for advice on writing her college application essay. K---- looked at the application in her daughter’s hand, looked at her daughter, looked at the application and burst into tears. “ I can’t handle this right now,” was her best advice.

Do you think homeschool moms need a support group for empty nest syndrome? I know I’ve kept a running list in my head for years of all the things I would be able to do when my kids left home – but at the moment they don’t seem very interesting. And I’ve started the mantra for grandkids already! I must be ill.

Tip #1: Make Career Exploration A Part Of Your Program
At our co-op, the Learning Center, we ran a career exploration elective a few years ago. Most of the kids were just entering high school, so this started them thinking in plenty of time about career paths; and yet they were old enough to already discern some of their interests.

We used YES! (Youth Exploration Survey) from Larry Burkett’s ministry (www.cfcminstry.org), What Color Is Your Parachute? by Richard Nelson Bolles and Do What You Are by Paul and Barbara Tieger as our main resources, picking and choosing the portions we thought most helpful. One of our moms was trained to administer the DISC personality survey and we had a lot of fun and outrage with the kids taking that. (You can take a free version of this test online at www.cfcministry.org.) We emphasized though that this was just one of many tools they could use to help them evaluate possible career interests. A lot of kids didn’t agree with the assessment’s conclusions about themselves, though, they did agree with the conclusions about others.

A Day In the Field
The best activity by far was shadowing someone in a field of interest for a day. Kids got ready for this by first identify what interesting places they might visit in our community and then generating questions together that each one ought to ask during the day. Everyone reported back at the next co-op. It was a big success, generating a lot of enthusiasm for using the shadowing technique again in the future. More than one student returned with the realization that their glamorized career interest had some real negatives to consider.

Many of the older students then set up an internship or apprenticeship as the next logically step after shadowing for a day. From my observation, that experienced either solidified their career direction, or made them realize they needed to go back to the drawing board.

Next time we’ll talk about putting together an internship or apprenticeship and getting the most from them.

In His Sovereign Grace,

Debra

Career Guidance, Part 2: Apprenticeships and Internships

I haven’t had this much free advice since my first pregnancy! Thanks to all the folks who have e-mailed me their experiences with directing their children’s career paths and college choices. I’ll be passing it along over the next few weeks. All good stuff is rolling in. I’m so glad I thought to do this series before we actually have to decide.

In this column I want to extol the advantages of a growing trend among homeschoolers: Apprenticeships and internships for our high schoolers.

Unlike the norm, many of the home-schooled college students I know have not changed majors in college. This has advantages: Most of them are graduating in four years or less, while the national trend is now at least four and a half to five years. Those extra semesters are costing a bundle -- especially if the kid has changed majors so many times the classes don’t transfer. I think the difference is many of the home-schooled teens I’ve worked with have had on-the-job experience in high school.

And you know how that happened? Their moms made it happen. (As I tell my kids, there can be advantages to having a pushy mother.)

Apprenticeships are making quite a comeback. I’ve found that once an employer tries one with a homeschooler; he is inclined to do it again. By and large, our kids have a work ethic that is missing among many teens today. Internships, on the other hand, are in place at most colleges, and major companies use this tool to evaluate students before tendering a job offer. However, I know of home-schooled high schoolers who have gotten internships intended for college students.

What’s the difference between the two? Apprenticing is a much longer time commitment with the expectation that the apprentice will enter the work force directly after the apprenticeship. Interning is usually no longer than a semester and is intended to expose the student to the various aspects of a business or career so that he can decide if he likes the environment.

In most cases, your best bet will be approaching folks within the homeschool community. But, I know kids who have had no trouble setting up experiences in many different fields. And as I mentioned above, these usually result in the employers looking for more home-schooled kids.

When approaching a business or professional about these options, first decide which type of on-the-job training you are looking for. Here are some questions to answer as you design an apprenticeship or internship:

1. Will this be a paid position? In some cases, the experience is all the business or professional can offer. But because that experience will clarify a career path or open doors in the future, foregoing the pay is worth it in exchange for the skill learned. In other cases, the pay may be less than what the going rate is for teen labor. Again, I feel the opportunity to acquire a lifelong skill should be seized before spending a summer working at the local teen haunts. You also should evaluate the example other employees are going to set as well. My sons have been positively influenced working by alongside hard-working home-school dads who provide for their families through their small businesses.
   
   
2. How will the apprentice or intern be evaluated? If a business does not routinely use these methods with their young employees, then you can help provide definition and written documentation of the experience. Draw up a simple form ahead of time with the employer. List the skills that should be mastered or introduced; and list the habits of a good employee that your teen should cultivate. For example, initiative, timeliness, customer service, poise, written and oral communication skills, professional appearance, telephone skills, etc. are qualities colleges and future employers will be interested in seeing documented. And if your student sees the evaluation form ahead of time, he’ll have a clear understanding, too, of where he needs to excel.
   
   
3. Will the student have progressive exposure to all aspects of the business? If you don’t ask this question at the get-go, you may be disappointed to find that the internship is merely organizing a warehouse or stuffing envelopes – jobs no one else wants to do nor has time for. I think, realistically, you’ll find these kinds of assignments are a part of most experiences. But if you make clear politely ahead of time that your intention here is to acquire some skills in exchange for hard-work and below-market labor; you can exact a commitment to that.

Greetings readers,

I'm on my way out the door for a trip to Montreal - my daughters and I and a couple of friends are going to enjoy a ten-hour trip north through the fall foliage and then test out our French on the unsuspecting citizens of Quebec. We've told our husbands we need to do some serious shopping in order to perfect our accents. If we weren't in the midst of football season, I'm sure they would have paid closer attention to what we were saying. Anyway, they all mumbled, "sure, honey, whatever," and returned to the sports section. So our first real field trip of the season is under way.

But, of course, I needed to touch base with you folks before I roar out of the driveway ….

This week, some musings on directing our kids toward future careers.

First, I've spent considerable time reading futurists such as Faith Popcorn and John Nesbitt. I really enjoy prognosticators, especially Nesbitt who predicted in the early '80s that home schooling would become a major trend. These folks aren't always correct, but they are better than most at looking at cultural and consumer trends and then predicting future employment needs. I've shared with my kids, as I've been reading, growth industries and job opportunities.

At one point, our son Mike was serious about criminal justice. However, a little research showed a huge glut in this area, with most jobs involving long hours, odd shifts and other factors not conducive to family life. On the other hand, these futurists predict real opportunity in the service industries. As folks lead busier and busier lives, many are using such time-savers as laundering, house-cleaning and lawn-care services. These are great opportunities for self-starting entrepreneurs, and I know several home-schooled teens who've started a service-type business in high school that has now turned into full-time employment. In some cases, a college degree helped them better prepare to grow their business; but in others, the degree was essentially not necessary. They were acquiring enough business sense through their own reading and questioning of other entrepreneurs, and they decided to forego the expensive education.

Second thought: Help your kids think about the lifestyle they envision for their future, not just their career. Many of today's prestigious and in-vogue careers are completely incompatible with family life. Does your son want to have time to spend with his family? Does he want to earn enough to support a wife and children? Does he want to have time to invest in his local church or Christian ministry? Does he want to travel, or not? Kids need to think through the impact of career choices on others in their future lives.

Now what about our daughters? A more difficult question for most of us. But my husband and I have concluded our daughters also need a marketable set of skills. A college degree is certainly one way to acquire that, but there are other venues to achieve this as well. While we certainly are encouraging our girls to prepare for marriage and motherhood, we believe it is presumptuous to assume our daughters will marry. I have also seen firsthand that widowhood is not something Christians are immune to either. Research has shown that women, on average, must support themselves independently at least seven years of their adult life. As responsible parents, we want to make sure our daughters are in a position to do so, if it becomes necessary.

On the other hand, we are all in faith that our girls will someday be happily married mothers, free to stay home with their children. They both still talk about pursuing college or additional training after high school. And we don't see this as only necessary to protect them from future disaster; rather, we see this as an opportunity to acquire skills they can use in running their homes well or in service to their local church. As I talk with them about the full range of possibilities, we are also evaluating careers in terms of their adaptability to home management and ministry; or perhaps part-time work from their homes.

One reason we are headed to Montreal is to support Kayte in her pursuit of languages. She has already shown a real affinity for this, and is very interested in foreign cultures. Being fluent in more than one language is certainly a skill that should have future marketability if necessary, but what really motivates her to study is the desire to minister in other nations someday. We don't know what the future holds, but we want to do what we feel prompted to do today to be ready for tomorrow's opportunities.

Au revoir,

Debra

Here's the wrap-up on choosing a college or career path for our teens. This is just a compendium of advice I've received in the process that I'll pass along to you:

Choosing A College:

Here are two good questions to answer.

1. How will this college choice possibly impact your teen's spiritual growth? I don't think we can take this for granted. The kids I know doing the best spiritually are those who knew where they would be fellowshipping before they left for school. Have you identified a local church that is a good fit for your teen? Active campus ministry? I prefer knowing that grounded adult leadership is available; at least from my experience in college, I find campus ministries that are student-led can easily get into imbalances and even serious error. Visiting the local churches and ministries would seem as important as visiting the school prior to deciding to me.

2. If your teen is planning to live on campus, how confident are you in his or her foundation? I've been sobered by the number of young people just in our circle of friends who have been tripped up by the secularism of the university environment - even on some Christian campuses. Another area of land mines is dating - one freshman I know has been surprised to find how much dating is promoted by the administration at her school - a school, I might add, very popular with home schoolers.

One reason I'm teaching a church history course to my sons and their graduating friends this year is because I wanted one more chance to cement the foundations of their faith. In the course of our studies, they are seeing that the same heresies and excesses just keep getting recycled. I trust they will be equipped to recognize and reject these wherever they find them in their future.

Financing College

1. A college education is an investment in the future of your child that statistically should yield a good return. If the choice is between no college education and going into debt to have one - I'd still choose the college education in today's job market. However, going into debt should never be taken lightly. I've heard from a number of young married couples starting out life together with the burden of college loans hanging over their heads. What they borrowed to get an education didn't seem like much until combined. In some cases, pregnancy and parenthood came much sooner than expected, and now they are retiring those debts on a single income. Though they think I'm teasing, I tell my sons I'm praying right now that their future wives are not going into debt to get an education.

Consumer Reports recommends that students not go into debt beyond what they anticipate their starting salary to be the first year out of school. We're using this as a rule of thumb, though I am skeptical of the starting numbers admissions directors are throwing out at my sons, who are both planning to major in marketing.

2. Merit scholarships are on the increase at many schools. And this is good news for homeschoolers. There are many avenues, other than just high board scores, to earning these. Essay contests abound. Go to www.fastweb.com to find these. Have your teens fill out the profile form, and Fastweb will notify them regularly of scholarships for which they may possibly qualify. Sign up before the senior year! Lots of deadlines fall early. Cafi Cohen, author of And What About College? has posted examples of excellent college essays on her Web site: www.homeschoolteenscollege.net.

3. Colleges are also looking for the student with the distinctive background. Home schooling in itself used to be enough to make the student exceptional. But schools no longer view this as unusual. Admissions directors say they are looking for kids with unique experiences - they've studied or traveled abroad, are fluent in a second language, have volunteered or initiated community service projects, started businesses, been involved in local campaigns, etc. Make a list of the distinctive experiences your teen has had during high school and find a way to draw attention to these somewhere in the college application.

I find a lot of kids overlook the obvious because they are so used to the uniqueness of their family. For instance, if your family provides foster care, has adopted special needs children, or serves in ministry at your church highlight this in the essay, letters of recommendations or separate addendum to the application if it just doesn't fit anywhere else.

Writing the College Essay

Finally, the essays your child writes for college admittance are critical. First, type these and rubber cement them to the page. Don't hand print. Admission personnel are reading hundreds, and they are scanning them at best. So second, write an opening with real impact and surprise. Start with an anecdote, strong quote, or question. Get some outside advice if necessary (though make sure the essay remains your teen's own words.)

The critical component of the college essay is this: It should be self-revealing and reflective. That means it gives an honest glimpse into the inner workings of your child's mind and personality. Is this a student who thinks deeply, and recognizes the inner impact of life's experiences upon who he is and hopes to become? Is this a student who can analyze and apply what she has read, experienced or thought about?

I'm not only currently helping (and frustrating) my sons in their never-ending saga of writing essays, but also teaching an advanced composition class at our co-op to teens. Almost without exception, kids simply narrate the events that have happened to them. That's the first draft. Good place to start, I tell them, now go back and tell me what you thought about as these events were transpiring. Then think about how your past experiences influenced your response to these events; and then think about how these events you are focusing on have shaped who you are today; what you value; how you think; who you want to become. That should be the focus of your essay, not the actual events that transpired.

Till next week.

In His Sovereign Grace,

Debra